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It was a butterfly stroke
And you can laugh if you want
But now I fly in circles
And that's how I got caught
I guess I got sick of aphids
And the sap that oozes from elms
And those people eating all that meat
They really seemed to be enjoying themselves
It was a butterfly stroke
And you can laugh if you want
But now I fly in circles
And that's how I got caught
A human I guess,
gets a bunch of years to gorge themselves
But we're different, it was a sudden thing
I barely finished my fries
When I lost feeling in my side
It was a butterfly stroke
And you can laugh if you want
But now I fly in circles
And that's how I got caught
Mud Dauber
I thought she was funny
But she didn't make much money
So now that the show is gone
Her career's got to move on
She tried out for other parts
She knew the lines by heart
But no one took her serious
They wanted her delirious
Responding to alien jokes
Being silent when aliens spoke
Mud Dauber
I thought she was funny
But she didn't make much money
So now that the show is gone
Her career's got to move on
Finally she got a job
I guess it's a bit of a dud
She dresses in string bikinis now
And wrestles in the mud
Mud Dauber
I thought she was funny
But she didn't make much money
So now that the show is gone
Her career's got to move on
Oh what a joy to live alone
To be alone, forever
To have no one who will yell at you
To say, "that wasn't very clever"
Oh what a joy to live alone,
To do what you please all the time
To never have to care about
the crumbs on the floor
or the table, covered with slime
Oh what a joy to live alone
And aren't you glad you chose it
When you do all of these
horrible things
You're the only one who knows it.
Let's talk about flipper gore and the frying man's hand
An let's talk about other things we both won't understand
Let's talk about cosmic butter and rabid fleece pops
Let's spend an hour debating the gonad factor of rabid mops.
Online buddy, don't get too close
If you get to know me you may be bored by me
One thing I know is true, if I knew you I'd be bored by you.
So let's talk about hybrid hydrants and the way to lingerville
Let's debate the many ways to shawshank a windowsill
Let's discuss the elvis stamp's relation to a coupe d'ville
You pick a topic, and I'll tell you to stop it
I'll try to change it, and then you should derange it.
Online buddy, I hope you understand,
I don't need someone to hold my hand
I don't care about the weather or what we do at work
All I want to do is act like a jerk
Don't you understand?
All I want to do is act like a jerk.
He got himself some rope
And you may think he's a dope
But don't knock it 'til you tried it
Cut off the blood that supplied it.
He was experimenting with hanging
On the wall of life he was banging
And you may think it was a stupid thing to do
But he sure had better orgasms than you.
He didn't die the first time
and that was a big plus
On all of his money
He marked "In rope we trust"
But everyone reaches a day
When things don't go their way
He held back a little too long
And that's the only thing he did wrong
He was experimenting with hanging
On the wall of life he was banging
And you may think it was a stupid thing to do
But he sure had better orgasms than you.
The baby came out
with big blue eyes
but not just in it's head
there was a further surprise
The baby came out
With eyes in its chest
All over its chest
And that's never for the best
Baby eyes
oh what a surprise
10, 15, 20 eyes
oh what a surprise
The doctor recommended surgery
to correct the sick little kid
But they sure couldn't urge you or me
to take the action they did
They put a flap of skin
all over him
all over his chest like molasses
So the eyes still have it
And no one can stand it
Cause he costs his folks a fortune in glasses
Baby eyes
oh what a surprise
10, 15, 20 eyes
oh what a surprise
I know where it's at because
I know a commode's a chest of drawers
And even though it may also be
Where my uncle peed on army tours
I know a commode's a chest of drawers
Of the English language I have a command
I know a commode's a movable stand
And even though it may also be
What my uncle likes to call "the can"
I know a commode's a movable stand
Take your lace headdress and shit in it
Take your crapper and put it on your head
We will be alive in one form or another
Long after the language goes dead.
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